


Cliches Are For Squares

by The_Asexual_Avenger



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M, Reverse Pines
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-24
Updated: 2015-11-24
Packaged: 2018-05-03 04:26:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5276561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Asexual_Avenger/pseuds/The_Asexual_Avenger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once upon a time, Pacifica spent a summer in the strange town of Gravity Falls.  A few years later, she's in college and, as it turns out, there's a familiar face in one of her classes.  Or, the Reverse Pines college AU no one asked for and are getting anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Only One Desk

**Author's Note:**

> Stumbled across prompts for non-traditional college AU situations and I've gotten on Rev!Dipifica kick unexpectedly and this is my attempt to flush it out of my system. All of these are based on my own headcanon for the Reverse universe and the subsequent story it builds - which I may or may not write at some point. 
> 
> Now, for a few pieces of information:
> 
> \- In my headcanon, Pacifica and Gideon are half-siblings who share a mother and have different fathers. Neither grew up in Gravity Falls, but spent the summer with their adopted grandfather (McGucket) after their mother died. the summer was a disaster which resulted in Gideon suffering a mental breakdown and Pacifica nearly dying. Afterwards they went back to their maternal grandparents and never returned to Oregon.
> 
> \- Since their mom never married their dads, Pacifica and Gideon took her surname: Carlisle. Pacifica never got along with Preston when she finally met him and refuses to associate with him. 
> 
> I think that's pretty much it for now. Enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: vicious battle over the only left handed desk in the room.

Left-handedness was a goddamned curse. Of that, Pacifica was certain. It wouldn’t be such a goddamned curse if it weren’t for the fact that apparently desks suited specifically for the cursed were scarcer than water in the goddamn desert. She had taken to arriving to each class no less than fifteen minutes early so she could hover by the door and be the first person in—and therefore, more likely to get her hands on the one left-handed desk in each classroom. 

Of course, she ended up having classes that contained at minimum one other leftie—which always meant an instant battle royale in the ten minutes until class started. Glad as she was to finally have her gen-eds out of the way, she really missed the lecture halls with their sprawling desks that favored no dominant hand. 

“...Pacifica?”

She turned to a blast from her past.

“Dipper? You go here?”

“I could ask you the same,” the brunet replied, and Pacifica wasn’t sure how to take the fact that he’d traded in his cape for a regular cloth jacket. That damn bolo tie was still around his neck—hidden under his t-shirt now and that was somehow game-changing in a way she wasn’t entirely sure she understood. 

“You go here, and you’re in German 202,” she reiterated. “I didn’t know you knew German at all.”

“Gravity Falls High doesn’t have much in the way of a foreign language department,” Dipper replied with a shrug. “You never struck me as the bilingual type, either.”

“Multi,” she corrected, out of reflex more than anything. “Mom raised Gideon and me in three languages.”

“Ah. How is Gideon,” he asked, somewhat haltingly as though unsure of how the question would be received. 

“Fine,” she answered. “Therapy’s done wonders for him. Grandma’s kept him away from any occult stuff. He’s practically his old self again.”

“Well,” Dipper began, unsure of how to respond. “That’s...good, I suppose.”

Thankfully, the class in session was dismissed and the door opened, students pouring out from what looked to be the 102 level, saving them from continuing the awkward conversation. Pacifica immediately slipped in, not even waiting for the room to fully clear. She’d seen the left-handed desk was empty and she was going to take it. 

A hand joined hers on the chair’s back, and Pacifica looked up to see Dipper had come for the desk as well.

“No,” she said. “No, no, you’re not.”

“Oh, but I am,” he replied. 

A moment passed, and then Pacifica sprang into action, sliding into the chair. Dipper spewed a set of profanities, grabbing the chair with both hands. 

“Carlisle, we are not playing this game,” he warned. “Give me the damn chair.”

“You’re ambidextrous,” she retorted, digging the heels of her Converse into the carpet. “I’m not! Go use a regular desk!”

“I broke my wrist last spring,” he hissed, trying to unseat her. “I’m too out of practice to use my lesser hand for notetaking!”

“It’s German,” she snapped. “You don’t take notes!”

“Then why fight me for the goddamn chair,” he shot back, trying a new tactic in which he tried to force her out by trying to sit. 

“Because I wanna look like I give a rat’s ass about notetaking,” she hissed, pushing back. “This guy terrifies the living hell out of me and I’m a German minor. I need this class! Why the hell are you even here?!”

“I’m considering the minor! Now get out of the chair!”

Dipper punctuated his command with a single hard thrust, proving too much for the desk and sending the three of them toppling over. 

“Ow, fuck,” Pacifica shouted. “Get off, get off, get off!”

Dipper scrambled to comply, his hips and ass already stinging with what would likely be a set of bruises he did not want to explain to his roommate. Pacifica would probably have a worse set, since she landed on the desk’s arm. 

“Holy shit, you two, just go steal one from the room next door,” one of their classmates snapped. “Jesus Christ!”


	2. Taking Pity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: my roommate’s boyfriend is staying over so can I please sleep on your floor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Actually a direct sequel to the first prompt, taking place that evening. I realized half-way through this that I heavily based the setting on my uni. So I figured what the hell and made it official. Other than the campus itself and a few places, it's mostly just references that are obscure enough it shouldn't matter. Really, this just makes it easier for me to keep track of the settings.
> 
> Anyway, more information/headcanons: 
> 
> \- Pacifica nests. Her bunk is comprised of several dozen blankets and pillows and she keeps a ox of spares just in case. She also sleeps with several stuffed animals, including one she's had since she was two years old and she has a devil of a time getting to sleep without it. 
> 
> \- She spends literally every semester fighting to become an R.A. (mostly for the financial benefits) and is thwarted at every turn due to unofficial and highly discriminatory requirements on religion. It usually results in her having to fend off unfounded accusations that could have her suspended at least once a year. 
> 
> -Dipper, unlike in canon, honestly has no clue what he wants to do with his life. He's spent so much of his life putting on magic shows and practically joined at the hip to his sister that he's more or less trying to figure out what else he's good at.

They had set up rules. They had had a very lengthy discussion about significant others and when and under what circumstances they were allowed in the room. Just because Dipper had to share a glorified closet with a stranger didn’t mean he had to deal with whatever insipid romances said roommate was entertaining.

However, _Jake_ had gone and decided that thirty fucking feet was too damn far to walk and insisted his boyfriend spend the night. Dipper had insisted on a twenty-four-hour-minimum heads up, and Jake had not headed the requirement. And the pair were up in Jake’s bunk making the sorts of kissy noises that made studying a lost cause and sleep an increasingly bleak concept.

With a semi-silent huff, the brunet threw a few basics in his backpack and left his room for a possible safe haven. Making friends had never been his priority, but he knew Pacifica lived on the second floor. Maybe she’d forget about their altercation in German and take pity on him. His bag bumped against one of his bruises and he winced. Maybe she’d still take pity.

The girls’ floor was decorated with overly cute cut-outs of elephants with each girl’s name on it and most of the doors had dry-erase boards that the other girls had written sickeningly cute things on. Several doors were still open, and Dipper could hear giggling and talking. The door to Pacifica’s room, of course, was closed. He sighed and knocked.

It took a few seconds for the door to open, and it was Pacifica in only sweatpants and a white camisole.

“Uh, what’s up,” she asked, obviously confused.

“My roommate’s boyfriend is staying over,” he explained. “Would I be able to spend the night here?”

She raised an eyebrow and leaned against her doorframe (on her right side). “You got something against gays?”

“I have something against my roommate engaging in foreplay while I’m trying to concentrate on chemical formulas,” he corrected.

“Fair enough,” she acquiesced with a shrug, stepping aside. “We’ll have to be careful, though. My R.A.’s one of those super religious Christian zealots.”

“Got something against Christians,” he mocked.

“Yeah, when they constantly try to give me unsolicited pamphlets on God’s Word and continually make snide remarks about my religious tastes,” she replied. “She’s got half the hall convinced I’m cursing everyone in here.”

He thought about his own secret stash on the occult. “Fair enough. And curses? Really?”

Pacifica shrugged, closing the door. “There’s a reason I don’t keep the door open. Amy’s cool enough with it once I told what exactly I was doing. The one good apple in an otherwise rotten bushel. Now, you’re lucky we have an air mattress tucked away.”

“Any particular reason as to why that is?”

“Amy and I decided it would be a good idea to have one on hand in case any of our off-campus friends have to crash on campus due to bad weather,” she explained, dragging the folded up mattress out from its hiding spot. “For such a northern town, this place has no idea how to properly clear the roads come winter. And considering this campus was built on a riverside hill...”

“Point taken,” Dipper agreed, setting his bag down. “Where is your roommate?”

“She’s spending the night with her boyfriend since he lives about twenty minutes away and they have the same eight a.m. tomorrow.”

“Ah.”

“So,” Pacifica said after a pause, setting up the pump, “you said you broke your wrist? How’d that happen?”

Dipper immediately considered a lie. He by all rights didn’t owe her a damn thing, but then again, she _had_ let him in when she could’ve shut the door in his face... He sighed.

“Mabel and I had a fight over something stupid enough I can’t remember what exactly it was.”

“So...she kicked your butt?”

“You remember what she’s like.”

The blonde shrugged. “Fair enough. That put a damper on your magic act? Do you even still do those?”

“Yeah, for a few weeks. Which Stan complained about for nearly as long,” he added, smiling a little when she laughed. “And yes, we still perform. Mostly during breaks now, as both Mabel and I are out-of-state for college.”

“Is she here, too?”

“No. She’s at an art school in Chicago.”

“Speaking of which,” Pacifica asked, capping up the newly filled air mattress. “Why’d you pick Eau Claire? I mean, I know we’re one of the top three in the state, but we’re kinda on the small side.”

“You have a good paranormal studies department.”

“We do?” Pacifica gave him a confused look. “How? Wisconsin’s not exactly ghost central.”

“You’d be surprised.”

She gave him a flat look. “Dipper, I grew up in one of the most haunted small towns in the state and we turned the most haunted complex into an annual haunted house. Besides, you’re from Gravity Falls; Eau Claire must be a snooze-fest in comparison.”

“I kind of like it,” he admitted. “If nothing else, the people are interesting.”

She snorted. “You should’ve seen us back in 2011 and 2012.”

“Why?”

“Recall,” she replied, pulling out a large box labeled “Extra Cuddles,” with a slightly disturbing amount of cutesy shapes around the words. “Mom and Grandpa spent the whole year campaigning. It was kind of funny; one of my English teacher threw my comp class to the side in order to use the time for her union and when I told Mom, she _freaked_. She went in the next day and had a massive argument with my teacher and the principal. Mom won, of course.”

Mrs. Emerson even fondly reminisced the story at her mother’s visitation. Pacifica still wasn’t sure if she did so out of respect or in a desperate attempt to cheer her up, but she had spent the woman’s recount smiling through the tears.

“She sounds like she was a good person,” Dipper commented, not sure how to respond.

He’d been a fair bit younger when he lost his own mother, and he honestly couldn’t remember the funeral or anything about that week. Besides, comfort hadn’t been something he and Mabel received much of; between their father’s withdrawal, his second marriage, and him finally abandoning them at Stan’s, he and his sister had been more or less alone.

Pacifica hummed in agreement. “Yeah, she was awesome. Anyway, how many blankets and pillows do you want?”

He did a double take at the contents of the box as she dumped it out on the floor.

“How many blankets and pillows do you _need_?!”


End file.
